U-KISS Believe


~ Happiness is AKAME ~

[Fic] Badge of Love Chapter 8
Akame in CK100
Offense 1: "Something ached at his chest not fully knowing if that is because he is affected by this younger boy or because he felt the sincerity of his excuse"
Offence 2: "I did not know that she is your girlfriend"
Offence 3: "Kazu-chan, wake up I'm not your watermelon"
Offence 4: “Because he will never get a chance to see himself grow old or see his future family and kids, not to mention even try his senior citizen card discount!”

Offence 5: “Alright, you have to meet my grandmother and ask my hand from her and promise her to take care of me!”
Offence 6: “Officer Jin, Jin-chan please go out and date my Keiko, you will never ask for anything more than my beloved Keiko!”
Offence 7: "He looked like a worried husband while his wife is giving birth"


Chapter 8

Grandma Rose brought with her the drama of what he can only watch in the tv, officer Jin taught that the Oba-chan was so dramatic in her announcement that she will definitely get the best care for her beloved Keiko-chan, no wonder to officer Jin where Kame got his flair of the dramatics

But Kame is Keiko-chan, his beloved Kazu?

Though he wanted to say that he was disappointed for Keiko turning up to be someone he thought would be with a fully functioning womb, but he wasn’t in fact he was more of relieved to know that he was not being traitorous to his affection to Kame, he was actually secretly wishing that the granddaughter of Oba-chan would look exactly like Kame or act like Kame, talk like Kame, walk like Kame in short, he really was wishing it was Kame and now he is a believer that dreams do come true, come to think of it, he should have wished for Kame to have that fully functioning womb, officer Jin thought making him laugh out loud with the bizarre thoughts that he was having, hell, he love Kame the way he is.

“Officer Jin, what happened to my baby?” Oba-chan asked him while she holds on to the hand of her now grandson and not granddaughter just to correct it on his record

“He was assaulted a few blocks from here, but the doctors have all cleared him of serious physical damages, they are just keeping him here for now so they can monitor his progress” Jin said

“Where is that evil person that does this to my baby?” Oba-chan said while stroking the face of Kame, lightly touching the part where his swollen lips had been patched

“He did not bump his head, right?” Grandma Rose said and automatically checks his grandson’s head for any lumps or bumps

“I don’t think he had, the doctor did not mention anything about that” Jin said and was actually now about to go to the nurses station to check when Grandma Rose intercepted him

“Tell me exactly what happened Jin” oba-chan pleaded

Jin recounted what happened and he saw that Grandma Rose’s eyes are now full of unshed tears looking at him with awe and wonder.

“You are my Keiko’s savior” gushed the grandmother

He felt himself blush when he heard that

“I was just lucky to have been there Grandma Rose” stated Jin matter of fact

“No you are my Keiko’s guardian angel” continued the old woman letting the tears fall from her eyes

Jin thought that was a little too much to be compared too

“And you are his knight in shining armor” Grandma Rose is now openly sobbing

The only thing shiny on him was his badge, belt and shoes

“Please Grandma Rose, Kazu is now fine and with this crying you will make yourself ill, we don’t want him to worry about you right” Jin consoled and what prompted him to go and hug the old woman he doesn’t know but he just wanted to offer his comfort to the crying woman

Grandma Rose was clinging to Officer Jin’s uniform soaking it with her tears and was not paying any attention to the now openly smiling and awake patient

“Jin are you being unfaithful to me” stated the now openly awake patient that if those mischievous eyes are to be believe one can assume that he was not been part of any ordeal

“Oh my baby, how are you?” Grandma Rose asked but was still hugging Officer Jin

“Mama, you can let go of my savior, guardian angel and personal knight in shining armor now” Kame said openly laughing now as he can see his mama is now feeling better and is back to her old self currently rubbing her cheeks to the officer’s chest

“Oh you’re such a spoil sport” reprimanded by Oba-chan reluctantly letting go but was contradicted by the wink that she gave the Officer

“I take it that you two knew each other” Kame asked all the while looking at Jin’s eyes checking if he finds his mama Rose’s advances weird

“Yes, we’ve met each other earlier” Finally Jin was able to talk for he was still mulling over his head why his need to protect seems more pronounced now seeing that Kame is related to Grandma Rose

“Mama, when did this happened, did your group finally got into trouble with the authorities?” Kame asked as his mama as she is a part of the what he refers to as the secret old people gang, for they formed a group of old people in the neighborhood, playing cards with friendly betting on the side, normally it was food or crops that they bantered with but sometimes to kick it up a notch a few bottles of alcohols or money was involved knowing that those are bad for them

“Silly, of course not, that was wrong of you to say” said mama rose rolling her eyes to his grandson but was still smiling at him

“Officer Jin, found Ran-chan” said mama rose and started telling the whole story to his grandson but not mentioning that he was pinned between two stones or that he was outside in the park coz he got away from the house, his Keiko loves Ran-chan so much like a child that she will throw tantrums knowing the full story of officer Jin rescuing his dog for he doesn’t want his grandson to feel worried about his dog given his situation now and true to his words Jin did not mention anything for he knows Kame will surely know of it when he comes home and looked at the bandaged leg of Ran-chan

“I’m sorry I must have left the door opened when I leave earlier,,, I was errm a little pre-occupied” Kame admittedly said while squinting his lovely eyes towards the now scowling officer

“Why are you looking at me like that” Jin asked now for he doesn’t have any clue why his Kazu is looking at him like that that he wish they were alone so he can smothered his love with his kisses and straighten his scowl

Really, mentally Jin was kicking himself as when did he turns out to be such a perv

“It’s all your fault, you’ve been occupying my mind lately and I have been very absent minded and cannot think straight coz all I can think of is your beautiful eyes, soft lips, your gorgeous body, your scent, how kissable you are, how I cannot last a minute without wanting to touch you, feel you and just stay in your arms my entire life…” Kame trailed off looking at the older guy that was looking at him straight in the eyes

“Kazu, thank you for listing all my good qualities, but Grandma Rose is here and she can hear all of it” Jin said feeling really light from getting all those praises from his Kazu and a little embarrass as the younger guy was openly adoring him

“Oh don’t mind me Jin; I’ve heard of him tell me someone with the same qualities that he mentioned now and much more on countless times, now I know who that person is and now I know he wasn’t lying” Oba-chan said clearly she bought all of those praises that Kame said and was also looking at him with such adoring eyes

These two will be a good pair of ego booster for Jin

“I think Kazu you are still a little rattled with earlier, you cannot think straight and Grandma Rose, this must be too much for you to do the same” Jin said and pulled a chair for the Oba-chan to sit down

“I think we are closer now, so Jin please call me Mama Rose too” Oba-chan said while in the action of sitting down and adjusting the cover of the blanket

“Thank you Mama Rose, talking about Ran-chan who is looking after him” Jin asked

“Oh when I got the phone call, I asked one of the kids of our neighbor to look after Ran-chan coz he was still sleeping and then rushed here” Grandma Rose explained

“Why is he sleeping at this time of the day, Ran-chan normally is up and about with his antics” Kame asked knowing full well his dog’s time table

“Oh don’t asked about that now” dismissed Oba-chan clearly avoiding his grandson’s eyes

“We should check with the doctor when you can go home, so I’ll go and speak to him” Grandma Rose explained and was so in a hurry to change the topic and go out of the room away from his Keiko’s inquisitions

“You will have to explain to me what happened to my dog and exactly how you found him” Kame said and signal Jin to sit next to him on the bed by patting the cushion next to him

Jin was thinking that with the few minutes of alone time with his beloved he wanted physical contact just to appease him mind that he will be alright.

“What do you think the nurses will think, seeing us like this?” Jin asked as automatically when he sat down at the bed next to Kame, the younger guy leaned on his shoulder and took his hands and encircled it to his waist so it appears to Jin that now he is side hugging the patient

“They will smile and say, look at how the boyfriend cared so much for his lovely-amazing-wonderful girlfriend” Kame teased while tilting his head upward to see the older guys’ face

“That’s it the boyfriend, will just be boyfriend while the girlfriend has so many adjectives thrown to him?” Jin said teasing back

“Well I can come up with all those descriptions of your appeal but I cannot promise that I will be able to use this bed to my advantage” Kame teased back again and deliberately lay down bringing the officer down with him, topping him in the process as his hands are still circling the younger guys thin waist


Jin thought that given his perv mind, this position is too compromising for him and his state of mind. With Kame’s think hospital gown ridding up on his thighs and feeling that his not wearing anything underneath, and that lovely lavender scent that his wild at now drifting at his nostrils, it will be a sure test of endurance and patience not to disengage his hand and roam free at his girlfriend’s body

“I got you where I want you” Kame sighed those words to Jin’s face just inches away from him

He may not openly admit this but he had been thinking of this position in his distant dreams

“No, I GOT YOU where I want you to be” Jin said, passion clouding his eyes

He went with his instinct. He lowered his lips and was met half way by his eager girlfriend, he was careful not to use too much force as he remembers that the side of Kame’s lips was swelling but the younger boy was not having any of that, he was aggressively eager to know so much about Jin’s kisses that he was not shy about using his tongue to explore inside, to duel with Jin’s now aggressive tongue, tasting, memorizing the sensation and feel of the younger boy’s cavern.

Kame let go of his hands just to put it on his cheeks cupping his face and Jin tried to brace himself from totally topping the younger guy for he knows that his weight will be too much for Kame. Then Jin saw his right wrist, gently Jin opened Kame’s palm and kissed the center of it and one by one kissing the fingers till he reached the forearm, inside of his elbow working his back to his palm again while Jin’s other hand was trailing feature touches to his exposed thigh which brings soft moans out from his throat.

“Jin…” husked Kame closing his eyes to revel on the sensations of his boyfriend’s kisses, mindless of anything but the feel of being loved

“Kazu, I want you” Jin said drawing his head back inches again away from the younger guys’ face still with his eyes closed

“Do you want me?” Jin asked kissing the closed eyes of his beloved

Jin was sure he was closing to losing his control and his patience but he thought that the hospital is neither the right place nor this the right time to be doing this to his Kazu

“We have to stop” Jin was literally pained by just saying that he was aching too much with his need

“We have to stop?” Kame asked passion slurred his voice and was only then opening his eyes

“We have to or else, someone will walk in on us and find us in a very compromising position” Jin said and peck a quick kiss on his girlfriends’ nose

“I wouldn’t mind that” Kame teased

“I wouldn’t as well but Grandma Rose might have a heart attack seeing us like this” Jin chuckled and only then realized that Kame’s hand has already unbuttoned three buttons on his uniform and his hand was lazily splayed at Kame’s upper thigh dangerously close for comfort

“She already had seen it!” said the booming sound near the door and both of them so startled that Jin started to stand up in a hurry and fell down from the bed while Kame was looking for the discarded blanket

“I will not have a heart attack, but I would want to remind you Officer Jin that my Keiko is a pure soul, and should only be treated as one” Oba-chan stated while walking towards Jin that he thought would be a great time to stand up and blocked any incoming punches or slaps

But to his amazement, Grandma Rose only offered to assist him to stand up and was now buttoning up his uniform, while the culprit who made it was grinning like a loon in his bed winking at him

“Keiko, stop ogling at Jin, cover up” Grandma Rose instructed seeing his grandson’s grand gestures of exposing his shoulders to the still rattled officer

Grandma Rose knew she should be appalled and sickened to the scene that she just witnessed just like any other normal and ordinary person, but hell she was no ordinary Oba-chan and she is definitely not normal, she was actually surprised that the scene that she witnessed was too sweet for her, knowing that her beloved Keiko has finally found someone who obviously loves him. Her relationship with his grandson was always been frowned upon by other people but she doesn’t care, her Keiko is a socially responsible person, caring for others and brings in so much joy to her and to the people around him who knows him well so she disregard what society accepts and what the society instructed as norm, she will support her grandson to the best that she can.

And if by loving this Officer is one of them, then she will be there to send Keiko away in marriage

“Mama again you can let go of MY Jin-Jin” Kame said as looking at Mama Rose who is now hugging again the officer in the waist

“Boo-hoo, you always take away the fun in my life” said Grandma Rose and letting go of the officer who she thought must be having a hard time understanding what had happened from the looks of his emotions displaying on his face

“The doctor said that you can come home when we get the results of the last test that was done to you, so in about an hour or two or max of three we can go home” Mama Rose mentioned

Officer Jin was still speechless and was in a state of trance after that momentous kiss and act of love play. He cannot remember how he got out from the hospital and back into his patrol car. All he can remember was that he left the hospital after he gave Mama Rose his promise to drop by this evening to check on Kame and accompany him to the police station so he can file a formal complaint to his assailant, he cannot remember if he offered to take them home. He was relieved to get out from the hospital especially on that room with that dazzling boy and charming Oba-chan as he was trying to reason with his mind against his heart.

He was prepared to go all the way with Kazu

He knew he love this guy, he knew that he is happy with him around, he knew that with him there will always be lavender scent to tease his nostrils and intoxicate him as well, he knew all of that but he just didn’t know if he is the right guy for him.

His thoughts were interrupted when he got a call on his radio asking for additional hands that are needed in one of the ongoing traffic collision in a district nearby, his police instinct kicked in and he set aside his personal and love problems to focus on the job at hand.

Back in the hospital

“I don’t want you to get hurt, not like that first time”

“I won’t get hurt, this time it will be different, better”

“You know that when you get hurt, I get hurt even more”

“He loves me; he just didn’t know yet the full effect of that”

“Do you love him?”

“How can you ask me that now?”

“It is very obvious with you that you love him but can you take it in if he cannot love you back equally”

“I think that is how love is supposed to be” he stated

“Loving with all our might till it aches us with both happiness and pain”

“But you have an option to not feel the pain”

“But I choose to feel the pain, for I am gambling with this feeling, it comes with who I am”

“Just so you know, I will always be here for you, no matter what”

“I know Mama, that is why you must accept that I love him with all my heart” Kame said and tightly embraced his Mama Rose

“And I love you my darling Keiko” hushed Mama Rose

She recalled how she started calling him Keiko, long before he was born, Grandma Rose had only one child, a son, she deeply love to have a daughter that she wanted to name Keiko but she wasn’t able to conceive anymore. His son had moved away from home and found a work overseas; he wasn’t getting in touch with her or her husband for their relationship had been strained due to his husband’s strict upbringing. His husband’s health was slowly deteriorating that his only wish is to hug and see his son again, so Mama Rose tried to look for his son and found that he is now married and living in Japan again which she made contact and requested for his son to come visit them but his son refused time and again, and then on the last day before his husband was taken away from him, they got a visitor in the hospital, it was their son along with his beautiful dainty wife holding something in her arms. Her husband was crying when he asked for our son’s forgiveness and her son was is in the same situation, both of them held on to each other when a loud wailing came from the blanket clothed thing on her son’s wife’s hands, Mama Rose remembered looking and holding on to the most beautiful baby she has ever held and softly she whispered the name she wanted so much to give to a family member, Keiko. For she had brought with them what the name signifies, love, respect, blessings and so much more, her husband and son reconciled their life long differences and though it’s a little too late but her husband passed away peacefully, he cherishes that he had a granddaughter that later was corrected as being a grandson with a fine name of Kazuya, looking back now his husband would have hooted in laughter knowing his line of heir will continue but he died peacefully so Mama Rose wasn’t really bothered.

Having her son and his family with her now did not last long, unfortunately, a strange sickness fell upon the neighborhood where his son lived and took the life of his son and his wife, Grandma Rose was just in time to save his four year old grandson for being sick too, they spent weeks in the hospital and though she had to grieve for the death of his son and wife, she stayed strong for her Keiko, for it was nearly impossible for someone so young to battle the sickness but here he was his Keiko after eighteen years, fully grown up, capable of loving someone and being loved at.

He truly is a Keiko, a blessed child.



The traffic collision was not that big as surveyed by the responding policemen, it was a minor bump on the rear end of a delivery van other policemen are now getting stories from the other driver and traffic flow is now resuming, so Jin just went to the ambulance that was checking the female driver of the van, when he recognized who she was.

“Minami Hana?” Officer Jin asked

Minami Hana was Jin’s closest female friend during high school days, she was one of those boyish girl that doesn’t care if she gets dirty playing with the other boys or fuzz about what clothes she should pick up and if her hair is still perfect. She was comfortable to be with, so comfortable that Jin thought that she might have been in love with her and confessed he did during their senior year and was outright rejected for one simple reason, she was taller than him.

“Oi Jin-kun, ohisashiburi” the woman said though she winced at the patch being administered to her small cut in the forehead, she was still a very beautiful woman, tall in height almost at Jin’s height with bright blonde hair and slender figure

“Are you really driving that van?” Jin asked when he got closer he can see that she was wearing the uniform of the flower delivery van

“Hai hai, I was very very careful but in the end I still got that accident” Hana explained

“Are you working at the flower shop, I thought you were modelling abroad?” Jin asked as the last time their class got together Hana informed everyone that she signed a contract for a modelling agency

“I was, been in a lot of fashion shows here and abroad and I just got back last month when my father asked me to come home as Okasan’s health is failing and he needed extra hands to run the business” beamed the woman on whom in close inspection, she fits the ideal woman that his parents would approve off to bring home rather than those of that person with dazzling smiles, twinkling eyes with mischief, soft curvy lips that brings warmth and love in his heart

Nah! It’s 100% sure ball that he will only love Kazu for he cannot picture himself with this woman living with him but he can definitely picture himself with his girlfriend growing old together.

“Oh wouldn’t you miss all those glamor and shine?” he asked

“Well, there will be days that for sure I will miss it but, you know me, family first” she stated and standing up she noticed that Jin was now two inches taller than her and was teasing him about it

“When did you start growing tall, you’re taller than me now” Hana laughed

“You know that boys developed late in their teens so it’s just natural” Jin said and laughed about it as the last time that he mentioned about his height while confessing to his friend he was told very matter of fact that he was just infatuated with her coz of her height and her boyish nature and both agreed not to bring the confession ever again

“And you’ve cleaned up nicely, you no longer smelled like a boy” Jin said

“Hey, you smelled worst” Hana bantered and they both continued to relieve their memories laughing at the most outrageous things they can remember

The ambulance left along with the other policemen and the driver who hit Hana’s van gave his contact details to arrange for the repair and took off as well, it was just the two of them left on the scene, so not to further cause any blockage on the street, Jin walked with Hana towards the van just in case she needed any assistance.

“Are you done with your police duties Jin?” asked Hana

“Yes just a paper filing in the station then I’m off the night” Jin said

“Care to have light snack with me so we can catch up on each other” Hana mentioned and opened the drivers’ door looking at the signal light turning red so she can safely go inside when she tripped on the loose rock on the side walk and she was about to fall back when Jin caught her in his arms

“Careful” Jin said to Hana

And if someone sees them, one can only deduce that they are lovers on a slow dance dipping the girl for a kiss for Jin was now holding Hana in the back while Hana’s arms are in Jin’s chest and shoulder as if embracing his much missed lover and to top it off their faces are just inches away.

The stop light turns green.

If passing cars will just look at their right they will surely see them on this position.

Their positions will bring love like feeling to the passersby.

Both of them are laughing for their position seems comical for them.

But not for the pair of hazel eyes that are now filing with tears.

~^~End of Chapter 8~^~

Another fic update from me lolz :D :D :D
So how are you all feeling about this, tell me minna~


[Fic] On & Off 3/3 END Epilogue
U-KISS Believe
Part 1
Part 2


“Mr. Big Nose hurry up or we won’t be able to catch the train” he said while stuffing all this things in his bags

“Hai hai, I am coming, let me just get the printed note that I did” said his friend who has been with him since a long long way back

“Forget about that, I need to be home” he said practically dragging his big nosed friend behind him

“Who would have thought that the great Akanishi Jin will be running toward his home after another successful broadcast and on a Friday night at that” teased his friend Maru, moving ever so slowly just to annoy his friend more

“Don’t you dare start now, you’ve heard the last caller that we had right” Jin said while laughing

“I heard and though I want to scream with cheesiness I did not dare do it for I still want to be your friend and get those free food once in a while” Maru said while laughing as well for he was the recipient of the many food samples of his friend’s partners’ cooking

“So you better hurry up or else that will be the last apple pie that you will taste” Jin jokingly threaten his friend as the last caller was no other than Sleeping Beauty telling him that if someone failed to arrive in the house at exactly an hour will probably get erased from the memory and will no longer hear those soft begging words that he so loved to hear which puts Jin in a hyper speed drive in need to get home as soon as possible as for a year now it had been a part of their daily routine for Kazu to call at the station during the last hour or less of Jin’s broadcast

In a few more hours it will be exactly a year since they have met each other and looking back he was actually thankful to his nagging friend who is happily snoring next to him on this train ride taking them home. For if it’s not for the constant nagging of his friend, he won’t be compelled to kneel beside that sleeping guy and to take him at his home, and helping him find his true identity and he in reverse finding his way in life and in love, though he will never in his life voice that gratefulness to his friend as he has a big nose already so he’s saving him from having a bigger head. He is happy that Maru has finally found his very own special someone to go home to and not just his mother, though he still adores his mother, his friend already asked him to be the best man on his wedding though he haven’t met the fortunate soul that will marry his friend but from the stories that he got he knew that Maru is deeply in love with this gangsta-yakusa type person on which Jin thought sounded more like a guy than a girl to him, but oh well, if his friend is happy and in love then he will support him all the way.

Ojisan is happily away on a conference again, but Jin and Kazu believes that he had probably met a woman on his latest trip though they wanted to know who but they will wait till he returns back as he promised that he has a surprise for the two of them, and they are thinking he will probably bring along the woman who captured his heart.

Kazu’s condition as per his doctors were said to be in a good condition, he was able to remember his past and can now openly talk about this stepdad, Jin remembered that time he was sitting on his now comfortable sofa no longer the red impractical leather sofa that he got, a few months ago he asked his mother to buy one for him and asked Kazu to accompany his mother to do that. His goal was to introduce Kazu to his mother and he was testing the waters if his mother will agree or opposed to his relationship with Kazu then he will cross the bridge when he get there so to say, but he was so surprised that his mother was immediately taken with Kazu and they were actually getting along pretty well. His father was no different with his mother, but he was at first adamant and wary from Kazu knowing that his son will not be able to produce him any blood heir but being a cool dad that he is, he fully supported his son as he agrees with his wife that ever since Kazu came into Jin’s life his son became more mature and responsible, no longer the playboy and easy go lucky guy that never drop by at their house to visit them plus he loves the food that Kazu cooked for them, Jin secretly thinks that it was the food that won him over. Going back to that moment when Kazu opened up to him about his memories, about the sexual assaults that he got from his stepdad it was too painful for Jin to hear but he knew that part of Kazu’s healing is for him to openly talk and admit that he was violated so as much as it pained him to hear it he knew that Kazu’s pain was double tripled on that. He was lounging at his sofa when Kazu sat next to him, he needed to hold his love, every chance that he can get he wanted to have physical contact with him, he felt at peace and contented just holding on to him back hugging Kazu and having his sweet scent lingers on him. It took Kazu a good full three hours just to finish re-telling all those painful memories, on how at nights when his mother was not there his stepdad will come into his room and do all those nasty things to him, and though Kazu said that he wanted to tell his mother but he felt ashamed and do not know what to do or who to tell and on that day of the accident, he told Jin that his mother walked in on him and his stepdad on his room while his stepdad was jerking himself and fondling Kazu’s genitals.

Jin felt the tears fell from Kazu’s cheeks down to his arms and he tightened his hold on to the younger guy.

“I’m not pure anymore” Kazu whispered and it was just a faint sound that if Jin was not paying attention he would have missed it

“Nonsense!” Jin said vehemently

“Your stepdad may have done bad things to your body, but that doesn’t mean that it had corrupted you and your heart, I don’t want to ever hear you say anything like that again Kazu, to me you are pure and your heart radiates goodness” Jin said and turning the younger guy around so he can look him in the eyes

“Nothing in you is flawed, you are perfect to me, got that?” Jin said tilting the younger guys face with his two hands cupping his cheeks

“I am so happy with you Jin, thank you for loving me” Kazu said and fresh tears fell on his cheeks

“I am even happier because of you and your love” Jin said kissing away the tears of his beloved

“I love you Akanishi Jin, and I will always love you even with my on and off brain, I will always find love for you” Kazu declared

“And I will love you Kamenashi Kazuya, with our past, present and future, always remember that” Jin vowed and sealing his promise from his heart with his warm mouth


Woooottt!!! <3
Thank you everyone, please do leave this flaily person your love, i miss everyone *blushes* does anybody misses me hahaha
Anyhoo, there's one more fic that i am cooking and this one is really something so please look forward to it ^^


[Fic] On & Off 3/3 END Part 2
U-KISS Believe
Part 1

“I will start off my story but please let me finish first and after that, if you have any questions you may ask me” Jin nodded to let the old man know that he understood and gave him his most determined look

“Kazu as you fondly calls him is Kamenashi Kazuya, he was an only child of my daughter from her first relationship that we thought would end up in marriage but her boyfriend abandoned her while she was carrying his child, told us he is not ready for a family yet and we were told that he is now somewhere in Canada with his own family, so I took my daughter with her son back here to care for them, soon after Kazu was born, her mother got into relationship after relationship, nobody wants to be tied down to a single mother, and it was the only condition that  my daughter asks her relationships that she will be married to them with Kazu as their own and accepted son, but no one would want it. Finally when Kazu was about six years old she met this guy, he was a decent salary man so I thought, and they got married when Kazu turned eight years old on his birthday. He dots on Kazu which made my daughter very happy, he loved hugging and cuddling Kazu in his arms and we thought that we found the perfect husband and father for my daughter and grandson. They moved to their own house a few blocks from here so I can occasionally visit them if I can. After a year of being married and failing to conceive another baby, my daughter went to a doctor to have it checked and was told that she cannot have any more baby, though they still could try but it will require money to monitor her progress. So my daughter took a job as well to further help their family in their finances and her check up to be able to conceive again, she took up a waitering job that took most of her night times outside the house leaving her husband and Kazu together. I noticed when I visited their house that the warm, happy, full of life grandson that I have seem to have changed into a jumpy, non-talkative, quiet kid that made me a little curious why so I sat down and talk to him, and I just cannot make him tell me, I was thinking that probably he was just on that stage where he is like that so I took it like it was normal. So I left their house and was away for a month for a conference and when came back, I saw that my grandson was having difficulty in moving and walking, there were bruises on his neck, arms and back, I told my daughter about that and she said that her husband mentioned it to her that Kazu had a fight with his classmate and fell down at school hence the bruises in his body. I was telling my daughter to go to the school and talk to the teacher or to the guidance counselor so the fighting and hurting my grandson would stop, but due to her work she asked me to go and speak on her behalf as even her husband is not available in the morning. So I went to the school to talk to Kazu’s teacher, I was surprised that the teacher immediately took me in at the office of the guidance counsellor and saw Kazu there sitting at the bench opposite the  table of the counsellor with his favorite action figure. The counsellor was an elderly lady that radiates kindness in her voice and on the look of her eyes, she told me that the teacher reported to her that Kazu was no longer playing with other kids, he doesn’t speak to the other kids or when asked by the teachers, he just looks straight and his eyes are always blank, he no longer participated in activities, they have tried to get Kazu’s parents into the school to ask if something bothering Kazu at home but twice the father answered the phone and promised they will drop by but no one came until I was there. The fight that had happened was because the other playing kids were playing tag and the boy tagged Kazu by slapping him on the butt that hurt him but I was told by the counsellor that the teacher witnessed that act and it was not much of the slapped that warrant Kazu’s rage that resulted in him punching the other boy. The counsellor said that she sent letter to Kazu that day and asked him to give it to her parents but I asked my daughter if she seen it and she denied having a look at it. I was getting worried for my grandson, I took him home and tried to talk to him but he just looks at me, the look on his eyes still hunts me to this very day.”

Ojisan stood up to replenish his tea cup and offered some to Jin again and resume sitting down to continue his story.

“I was feeling really guilty for not looking in on more often at my daughter and grandson so one day I thought to surprise them, I saw my daughter going out probably to the market to buy things to cook for dinner, I was about to call out to her but she was rounding off the corner of the street so I just entered the apartment and knowing it will be opened, I let myself in. It was horrible, it gave me many nights of nightmares and they still do, I heard crying sound coming from Kazu’s bed, I thought that probably he was crying in his sleep as he takes naps in the afternoon, the door was slightly opened and I can hear his father talking and I was thinking that he was probably soothing his nightmares, when the words that drifted off to my ears sounded strange, Kazu was begging his father to stop as it was hurting him and he doesn’t want to play like that again, his father sounded hoarse and out of breath and was moaning, I took a peak at what is inside the room and I saw Kazu naked and his father with only his shirt on while his boxers and pants at the his feet while sitting at the bed while stroking and fondling my grandson’s genitals and letting him sit on him rocking him on his shaft. I almost did not make it outside, the scene so sickened me that I puke, I was so enraged that I wanted to rush back again inside to confront my son-in-law but rational thinking ruled me, fearing that if I confront him now, he will leave and go into hiding hence justice will not be served. So I waited for my daughter to come back. I waited for her outside the house, called her on her mobile but she was unreachable. When I finally saw her, told her everything and she was at first unbelieving me, but after I have told her that I saw it firsthand that is when she broke down in tears and told me that she had found a blood stained underwear of Kazu and when he asked his husband about that he just said that Kazu sat in a sharp object and hurt himself, she did said that she searched her son’s bottom but did not find any wound. And there was this time that when she was almost asleep, her husband would leave her side and would go to Kazu’s bedroom and be gone a long time, which she only thought his husband was looking in on their son and he would come back to their bed sweaty and panting. My daughter wanted to rush back into the house and get Kazu, I told her to take Kazu and go to my house and I will go to a police station to file for a case and ask policemen to escort me back to my daughter’s house to arrest her husband. That was the last time I saw my daughter, before we separate I hugged her and told her that I love her and Kazu and would do everything that I can to help and protect them both, my daughter was crying and told me she was sorry that she turned out to be a disappointment to me with how her life has been, I told her that that’s nonsense I told her that she gave me a wonderful grandson and that I love him and she is still my perfect little angel.”

Ojisan was wiping his tears with the towel that he took from the table counter, he felt that he needed more tea to finish his story so he reheated the tea and looked back as Jin again.

“I and two other policemen arrived at the apartment and saw that it was empty, traces of a fight can be seen at the house, broken glasses, upheaved chairs are all that’s left. We then decided to head to my house thinking that probably my daughter and grandson are there already noticing that the car of my daughter was not there, when a loud crash like those you’ve heard in movies when cars are colliding can be heard, my heart stopped. I was willing myself to think that my girl and grandson are both safe and they are fine and we will get that bastard who assaulted my dear boy. On our way to my house, the police men thinking they might be needed at the scene of explosion decided to pass by there and there is where I saw my daughter’s car. Paramedics and firefighters are already on the scene and I rushed out of the police car and went to see my daughter, she was covered in blood behind the wheel, her husband is in the same condition next to her and both are not moving, behind them was Kazu sitting with blood on him as well and I was thinking that I shouldn’t have asked her to go there alone, I should have gone with her at the house to make sure that my daughter and grandson will be alright. Then I saw Kazu move ever so slightly and told the paramedics to reach for him first, while the others go and check my daughter and his husband. I have heard the paramedics said that Kazu was lucky to be alive though with weak pulse and heartbeat he will make it for he was wearing his seat belt and then I saw the other paramedics shook their heads signaling that both my daughter and his husband are dead upon impact. It took Kazu five days before he finally woke up from his comma; the doctors were all monitoring his condition as his head took the most injury during the collision. Jin, I have lost my daughter and it seems to me that with Kazu’s condition, I will also be in the same situation on and off.”

Jin did not understand what Ojisan was telling him, he forced himself to be quiet to muster more patience to tell the old man finish his telling for Jin can see that probably in a long while now, Ojisan is telling this story for the first time and it was a relief for him as well.

“Kazu woke up from the comma recognizing me but cannot recall how he got there; the doctor told me that Kazu probably has suffered from memory loss due to the impact but will soon regain the memory back once he got rested and the trauma of that accident won’t be too much for him. So the doctor ordered Kazu to sleep and rest and will check on him again the following day, come following day, Kazu completely cannot recognize me and how he got the accident, he kept on calling his mother and was just crying till he got exhausted or the doctors put him in sleep. On the third day after the accident, Kazu can recall his accident telling me that he was with his mother only in the car when they got hit by the other vehicle, I asked him if his father was there and he just looks at me blankly as if the notion of having a father is alien to him, the fourth day Kazu remembers me and the accident and was just silent the time. The doctors have conducted a lot of tests on his brain to check which part of his brain was damaged with his inability to recall his past memories and why he has very selective memory.”

Jin now has understood half of it, he just thought to wait for the other half to be told and he will finally understand Kazu.

“After months of physical, mental and behavioral evaluation and daily checkup progress on my grandson, the doctors pronounced that with his repressed emotions of Kazu while being traumatized by the sexual assault of his father that has happened before the accident, his post traumatic amnesia as well as his dissociative or the psychogenic amnesia triggered as well an area on his brain that sends mix memories in his brain that which troubles him to bind together his memories, though he can create new memories just that his past memories are now being selectively recalled and will take him time or at worst will no longer be totally recalled. The doctors told me that it will take time for him to really heal but they have also warned me not to get my hopes up as there have only been two incidents on this case that has the patient recovering. They had advised me to keep an eye on him, as there will be times that his amnesia will not just be triggered after sleep, it may also come instantaneously while awake so he might know who, what and where he is one moment and at a snap of a finger just completely forget about who, what and where he is. I was advised to send him to a psychiatrist just to be sure that whatever bottled up emotions and feelings my grandson kept in him can be released and thus will heal his mind, so with many sessions that he was with his psychiatrist, never did once he mentioned his father, there was only a mention of his father’s name and Kazu just immediately froze and kept silent. With the slow progress of the sessions, the psychiatrist suggested to just keep the visit once a month and told me to make sure that his mind will be given a lot of stimulations like giving him coloring books, reading materials or any musical device to make sure that the things that he will do will stir up his brain into remembering and then that is why I bought him that radio transistor, thinking that music will keep his brain stimulated so that then upon the next visit they will check his progress. It was very hard for Kazu growing up, he was not able to play outside and though I have told him why, and he accepted that he is different and put on a brave show that he is alright with it, I knew deep down inside, Kazu wanted to be normal, so I treated him just like that. I hired a tutor so he won’t miss his education, though I asked the tutor not to give him any assignments that will require the next day submissions, fearing that he might not remember their lessons or that the tutor, and by special grant he was able to pass by secondary schooling. I knew that I still had to give something to Kazu, I enrolled him in a vocational cooking school seeing how he loves to meddle in the kitchen, when he turned 21 he was able to finish his vocational class, I was never been prouder for his achievement, everyone said that he won’t be able to do it but Kazu was made of stronger stuff he kept pushing and he was determined to finish his schooling as he said that there was this person that he heard in the radio that said something that inspired him, he said that when he heard the voice of that person he felt instantly determined to conquer anything, my grandson was then glued to that radio station ever since, he will listen to that station when he was cooking, reading, cleaning the house or just about anything that he does he has with him that radio. It was a little miracle that for the past 3 years now, when Kazu would wake up with the radio on and that particular DJ was talking or was on air on the previous night before Kazu falls asleep, my grandson would wake up remembering everything that has happened on the previous day and will have an actual solid memory of his childhood, so I reported that to his psychiatrist and I was told to keep it like that seeing that probably the voice timbre of the DJ helps my grandson remember things.”

“Do you know who that person is Jin?” asked Ojisan when he was done telling the story

“I have a clue Sir, but before I answer that can you please tell me if you know, what were the words that inspired Kazu?” Jin said having these mix feelings

“Ah yes, how can I forget about that, this is what Kazu said, he said ‘Trials, hardships, pains are all but just obstacles in our paths to make us stronger, wiser and happier in our lives that is yet to come for us to find love and peace within us’ and ever since then that has been Kazu’s mantra in his life” said Ojisan fondly and softly looking at Jin

“Those were my words on the first day on my job, as a disc jockey” Jin said with his eyes filled with questions that look at the old man

“I knew I can recognize your voice, but I was too happy to see my grandson to put a name into it” Ojisan is now openly smiling at he can now see that the young man is now realizing his involvement in this story

“And now you may ask me all the questions that you want to be answered, but first let me put my question to you, what prompted to you say those words?” Ojisan asked

“It has been my long time mantra during college days, when I wanted to quit school and just don’t know what to do with my life, my mom told me those words, she said that one of these days someone will be inspired as well with those words that she said to me so I must keep it and when that time comes, when that time comes of someone finding hope and determination in those words then I did my job well and that I can find my way.” Jin said

“And have you found your way then?” Ojisan asked

“I do Sir” Jin said emphatically

“Sir, you have given me the truth about Kazu’s past and I know it was not easy for him and for you as well, I cannot imagine all those hard times you have to keep Kazu’s hurts soothed, and I am not here saying that I can do better but I would like to offer my help Sir, I want to be part of Kazu’s life, I love him and I want you to know that I will be here for him even though if you won’t agree”

“Do you know Jin that for the moment that I saw my Kazu looking at you earlier I knew that he loves you too, he may not know why he loves you or who you are, but I think deep down in his heart and on his mind that he recognized you and for that I will not stop you, for I want my grandson to be happy”

“Ojisan, thank you it took loads off from my mind to know that you approve” Jin said

“You might be wondering, with all my protectiveness why did Kazu get passed me, right?” on which Jin nodded

“It was actually your fault Jin” Ojisan said and took on a meaner tone

“I beg your pardon, Sir” Jin said totally confused

“It was you and your coming February 14 broadcast” said the Ojisan no longer with the meaner tone but one with resigned tone

“But I’ve just known him a few days ago” Jin said defensively

“Don’t fret Jin, I was just joking.” Laughing Ojisan said

“You actually know him for quite a while now, he always sends his letters and sometimes calls in on the request line and your assistant or co-DJ takes his requests, he goes by the name of Sleeping Beauty” laughed Ojisan

“Sleeping Beauty is my longest follower, why Kazu haven’t look me up or go to the station and meet me” Jin said

“I believe that is my fault, I told him that when he feels better or when there is an occasion then we will go to visit you on your station, but incidentally, my two weeks conference falls at the same time as this coming Valentines and I told Kazu that we might need to postpone it some other time.” Ojisan explained

“Kazu did not voice any complaint, he just kept silent and went to his room, so I thought that he might probably be ok but I felt guilty about it so the day before he gone missing, I went to cancel my conference because I know that seeing you was Kazu’s wish for a long time now, so I left him at the house and when I came back he was missing.”

“Did you file any missing person’s report” Jin asked

“Ah yes several in fact, and on earlier I was just on that police precinct to see if anyone has any information”

“We were just about to go there to check”

“I was actually thinking that Kazu might go to the station himself so I was planning to go there after passing by at the precinct and the grocery when I have spotted you two”

“Ojisan thank you” Jin said

“What for, it is I who should be thanking you for finding my grandson” Ojisan said with tears clouding his eyes

“I am thanking you because, you were there when Kazu were growing up, you’ve protected him and took care of him so that I was able to meet him now, in this life, so I can find my way” Jin said and stood up to hug the old man

Ojisan hugged him back and was wiping his tears when they separated, Jin was so happy that the other person in the life of Kazu was not pushing him or asking him to leave the young guy alone, but instead was supportive of what he has for the young guy sleeping at the other room.

“Jin, just a voice of caution, please do not expect so much from Kazu’s memory being the same before he met you. He might not recognize you and son take it from me that is the worst feeling that I have ever felt. So if that does happened please remember your mantra and from there on please continue loving my grandson” Ojisan said and with that he pat Jin’s shoulder and walked out from the kitchen and heads towards the second floor of the house

The talk took them a good number of hours that when Jin looked outside the house it was getting dark already, he was still reeling from the information that his Kazu was violated when he was younger by the hands of his own step-father and that it contributed to his amnesia, he wanted to console the young guy but he felt scared of what reaction Kazu will have at the mention of his step-father’s name. Jin walked towards the room or the sleeping guy and took a chair next to the bed holding his right hand slowly caressing the palm with his thumb.

“Kazu, continue sleeping, let your mind rest but let me tell you what’s inside my heart.” Jin whispered softly as he begins his telling with his eyes closed and his cheek pressed at the younger guy’s hand

“My very own Sleeping Beauty, you are just what my heart needs you make me feel special, I don’t know but when I was reading all your letters this crazy heart that I have always wished to know who was the sender, wishing to put a face on those love letters that I always receives. I felt that the sender knows me so much more than I knew myself, and now thinking about it, it all makes perfect sense to me. It was our destiny. My wandering days of trying to find love has finally found its home and that is in your heart, please accept me and my love that I offer to you. Let me try to soothe away your pains, let me help you carry your burden, let me love you on how I know how to and you deserve to be loved and let me stay by your side to always protect you, cherish you and smile for in that smile of yours I find the burning desire to love again and feel that contentment of being loved. Always remember that this words that I say now are yours and yours only, for you are my romance, my love and my life and with you I will find my happily ever after my very own Valentine” Jin stated and pressed his lips on the hand of Kazu and lifted his head and looked at the supposedly sleeping younger guy, when his eyes met those perfectly shaped eyes looking at him directly without any trace of reaction and the pain that Jin was feeling on his chest seems to overcome his body and he felt the physical pain brought by not being sure if Kazu remembers him or not.

“Kazu…” Jin whispered in a voice so hoarse he thought it was not his

“Please, do you remember me?” The pain of getting those words out from his mouth was so much for Jin to take

“Say something please Kazu” tears welling up on his eyes

“Oh please remember, Kazu”

“I – I, I am…” Jin whispered

“You are the guy that I listened to at the radio, you are the guy that saved me and you are the guy that I’m in love with” Kazu finally said and sat up from the bed to cradle the face of the older guy that he dearly loved

“You remembered” Jin said and was so happy to know that Kazu remembered his face was just inches away from the younger guy

“Who can forget about you, I’m not forgetful you know” Kazu said and looking at the sparks on his eyes knows that he was teasing Jin and was making fun of his amnesia

“But why didn’t you answered when I asked you if you remember me”

“Hmmm I was making sure that Ojisan will leave the room before I make you do something” Kazu said as when Jin started his telling and closed his eyes, Kazu opened his and saw his grandfather standing at the doorway when Kazu signaled with a nod that its ok was only then he left the room

“He was here?”

“Yes and he heard everything” Kazu said and moved even closer his face

“Might as well he knew what I have in my heart” Jin said and just noticed now the closeness of their faces

“Kazu, why is our faces this close?” Jin said and lifting the younger guy from the bed and depositing him on his lap, straddling him again just like earlier in the park

“Ohhh I said there is something I want you to do” Kazu said his voice added a teasing tilt on it

“And what is it that you want me to do” Jin feigning innocence

“Something that I had been telling you a lot since this morning” Kazu said inching his mouth closer his warm breath on Jin’s lips

“I think I have amnesia, I cannot remember anything” Jin teased knowing what the younger guy is after

“Then let me remind you” Kazu said wetting his lips with his tongue and seeing the pupils of Jin dilating he knew that he has succeeded in seducing the older guy

“You are such a tease, can I beg now” Jin said huskily and closed the gap of their mouths


But wait wait wait :D
There is an added Epilogue coz im great like that ^^


[Fic] On & Off 3/3 END Part 1
U-KISS Believe
Title: On & Off {3/3} - END Part 1
Author: muchie05
Pairing: AKAME
Genre: Romantic Comedy + Mystery + Pervee *let me have this genre* ^^p
Disclaimer: Purely fan fiction, owning them is never part of my reality… was it yours?
Summary: Their meeting was unexpected, he never really believes in love, he was one of the hottest DJ in town, women are all lining up for his attention, he never had a good relationship with any women and now tell me why he is drawn to this GUY? And this guy just lives for him and only HIM! So can he really find love, happiness, companionship with someone?

Author’s Note: YATTA!!! :D Finally finished this fic, hahaha took me yearsss to write and many missing plot bunnies and changing meme’s in my head but still proud to have made it till the end. I have re-emerged in LJ with this update so please give lots of love to this flaily person who just cannot keep still and calm ^^ ~yoroshiku minna <3



They started early that day to find places that will remind Kazu of his memory.

They have revisited the train station and mostly just ride from one point to the other, just letting things flow and from time to time, Jin is asking Kazu if he remembers anything from that station and at almost after he said it the younger guy will shake his head and Jin knows how frustrating that is so he will just nod and smile at the guy.

They have reached the last stop of the train and Jin jokingly told Kazu that their train hoping days are over and when Jin looked at Kazu, he felt like a cad for mentioning that, he thought that Kazu would take it as a joke but from the worried almost tearful expression of the younger guy, Jin knew that it wasn’t bit funny for Kazu.

“I didn’t mean to sound like that, it should have been funny, for me anyways, but I’m sorry Kazu” Jin explained

“It should have been me doing the apologizing Jin, I just can’t seem to recall any” sigh Kazu while he stood up and is being guided by Jin towards the exit door

“I am a burden, right?” Kazu asked while lifting his face up to the older guy that was standing just behind him while waiting for the door to open

Jin thought that he only wants to steady Kazu just in case the train will do an abrupt stop hence he was standing really close to the younger guy, his front is basically plastered at the back of Kazu and when the younger guy lifted his face up to look at him, the worry that he saw on Kazu’s eyes and those luscious lips slightly parted drew his attention most, Jin had the most basic urge to just place a chaste kiss on those lips just cause he feels like doing it and he reasoned as well that he doesn’t like seeing the younger guy worried. He uses his peripherals to scan the cabin and found only another couple busy cuddling on the other side, so he mustered up all his courage and thought heck to all other reasons, he slowly lowered his face to Kazu.

“Jin…” Kazu was just about to asked the older guy if something’s wrong as he can see the intent look on his face when Jin lowered his face to him and he knew what will happen next

Jin only wanted to have a chaste kiss, or just a peck heck just even a linger of lips to lips but when his lips touched the younger guys soft lips, he wanted to throw away that idea and just have a go for a good open mouth lock on. He knew that it only lasted for a few seconds but for Jin it felt like an eternity. Being able to taste the younger guy with just his lips rattled him; no woman had made him fell like that ever, he is now wondering if just in case he got that open mouth kiss that he wished for, what he could be doing now and he sure knows about it.

He will be on top of this younger guy, without any stitch on.

Kazu’s thoughts just flew a million miles away from him and his brain is surely in the puddle of mud division. He thought that Jin just sucked out his ability to think straight though he cannot point a finger on it, his senses are all alert and he felt he can smell something and he can see flashes of white all around him and he can hear voices but cannot point a finger on it. But one thing is for sure, that kiss awakened something in him that he felt was sleeping all this time.

“I’m sorry” Jin husked

“I’m not” Kazu said and smiled up to Jin

Jin knew this guy was different and that he doesn’t mind at all that he is, it was a revelation to him as well. He love women and he will always find fulfillment from them in terms of satisfying this urges and desires. But it was hell of a lot different with Kazu, he felt contented having him around, he felt happy seeing him happy and smiling, he aches to get intimate with him, that never happened to him before with any other girls, he felt very protective of him, he wants to shield him from any harm and now knowing that he is not much of any help with the memory of the younger guy returning, he felt helpless, vulnerable and out of control, things that are never associated with him. But he has decided the moment that he looked at him in the train that he will help Kazu and he never ever back out from his word.

“What do you say if we just roam around and see if your senses can pick up something?” Jin suggested

“That would be nice; do you have anything in mind?” Kazu asked

“I was thinking of eating first” Jin said thinking that he just wanted some more privacy with Kazu before taking the world on

“But we have just eaten before leaving” Kazu said while laughing as it was just a few hours passed since they have eaten their breakfast

“I am a growing boy and this body needs energy” Jin said all the while flexing his body to show off his muscles

“That is not muscle, those are fats” teased Kazu while feeling and touching the older guys’s biceps

“Fat!!!! I am never fat in my life, take it back” Jin said looking appalled

No one dared to call him that and no one will believe he is that.

“I was told not to lie, so I will not lie to you Jin” from the twinkling of Kazu’s eyes Jin knew that Kazu is feeling better and hence he just go along with it

“I will get you and once I get my hands on you, I will make sure you touch all of my body to know for sure that I am not fat” Jin declared and all the while he knew his threat was half meant as knowing his body will be touched by Kazu thrilled him

“You will never catch me and I will not lay a hand on you” Kazu screamed and made a dash outside the train station

Jin felt so happy. He was a little late in running after the younger guy as he was still reveling on this new feeling when Kazu run, so he was a little ahead of him and when Jin catch up with the younger guy he was panting with his breathe and he knew that Kazu will tease him about it. He caught the younger guy when he veered towards the entrance of a park, Jin caught him and put his arms around the younger guys middle and carried him to a nearby park bench to sit. Jin thought of sitting Kazu on the bench then decided against it and he sat down bringing the younger guy on his lap and started tickling Kazu for his payback.

“Now I got you, you’re going to get it, I will attack you” Jin started tickling Kazu all the while the younger guy is sitting on his lap

“Jin, no I’m ticklish” pleaded Kazu trying to blocked the hands of the older guy and laughing till his lungs can’t take any more air and his heart seemed to raced doubly hard by being held like this by Jin and by laughing too much

“Coz you made me run, and you called me fat, I have to punish you, you meanie” Jin said while continuing his assault on the younger boys body, never caring if the on lookers and passersby are both giving them weird, crazy, curious, care free smiles for they are oblivious to their surroundings just the two of them in this attack-defend tickling war.

Jin was not sure how it happened, but when their tickling battle was over as both of them cannot breathe anymore, he came to his senses then and saw that while he was sitting on the bench, Kazu is not straddling him with both of his knees at Jin’s side and Kazu’s face was just inches away from him. Kazu still has this glow from laughing and his eyes are such lovely brown hazel color to him and his lips are just still as luscious waiting to be kissed. Jin noticed that his hands are now splayed at the younger guys hips and Kazu’s hands are rested at Jin’s chest. Anyone looking at them will surely know that they are lovers and had been in this relationship for a long time.

He doesn’t care about them.

He cared only for this moment, this guy and this feeling that he had.

Jin is in love with Kazu.

The realization wasn’t at all surprising to Jin, he knew that he was attracted to Kazu he just put off that thought aside and just believed other reasoning. Now that he was sure of his feeling, one thought intruded his elation, what if Kazu never found out who he really was, it was alright with Jin, he can live with that but the pain and anguish that he saw from the younger guy for not being able to remember tore at his heart and he is not that bad of a person to totally be selfish and not help the younger guy. He vowed he will help him remember again or found out who he was and he will not turn back from that promise. He felt relaxed reinforcing his decision but then another thought intruded in his mind, what if the person that Kazu is when he found out who he truly was is not the same Kazu that he is now, what if he detest this kind of closeness between two guys, Jin cannot stomach thinking that the younger guy being repulsed by his touches, his kisses, his advances, his tickling, his presence, his whole being, Jin was thinking what if.

He just realized that he is in love and as a pessimist that he is on this whole business of falling in love this is all new to him. Didn’t he tell that he never believes in love and that being in a long relationship doesn’t suit him and he never cared enough to be in one? But that is all now changed just because this younger looking guy entered his life and everything is changed.

His preference, his beliefs, his outlook in life and in love and even his very own heart.

“Jin are you alright, did it hurt much being tickled?” Kazu asked his voice whisper soft with a trace of concern on it

“No, baka I’m alright” Jin reassured flashing the younger guy his smile

“It’s just that your face says differently, one moment your smiling the next blink of the eyes you’re scowling” Kazu explained lifting his right hand away from the older guys chest and drawing it to face to smooth the brows of Jin

The touch was feather light and was just only for the briefest of moments yet Jin felt as if the caress was done directly to his soul. He love the feel of Kazu’s fingers on his face, he felt so warm deep inside and he wanted nay needed to have Kazu’s touch all over his body just to have that sense of feeling again.

“I was just thinking that probably, maybe you shouldn’t be straddling me like this in public, coz I cannot guarantee you that I can keep my hands to myself and touch you where you haven’t been touched” Jin teased but knew that given the right place he would have done exactly that

“And I would have let you with all my heart” countered Kazu sassily and was laughing so hard while trying to stand up and in the process he clumsily slipped and his right knee landed in between Jin’s thigh directly into his crotch which Kazu profusely apologize for and was smothering the portion where his knee was at as if swatting the pain away.

Jin literally saw red in pain.

He was not really hurt that bad, but having the younger guys hand touching him there though he has his jeans on, the material prove to be a little barrier against his desire. He was having a hard on just cause of that.

“Stop…” Jin whispered to the younger guys’ ear while taking Kazu’s hands and binding them together

“Kazu you have to stop,,, or else I won’t be able to” Jin finishes and pulled harder on Kazu’s bound hands closer to him so his face was just inches from him, and when he noticed that the younger guy has his apologetic look on his eyes he then kissed Kazu as he was about to open his mouth to utter his apologies. Jin captured the words that the younger guy was supposed to say, it then turned into a sigh and quickly developed into a moan, such purring sounds from the back of his throat that Jin realized he likes. He would have used his tongue to explore more about the younger guys’ mouth but Jin decided that he has given too much already and he doesn’t want to confuse the guy with his advances.

“That was nice, thank you” Kazu stated while looking at Jin’s deep caramel brown eyes glazed with passion

“That’s it, just nice?” Jin asked incredulously

In all his womanizing days, as far as he can remember no girl had the gall to say that his kisses were nice. Normally when he kissed, all the girls’ turns into a jumble bunches of  mess that they cannot think straight and normally they will do just about anything else and practically beg him for more. Kazu again proves to be made of entirely different set.

“Uhm, sorry Jin, that’s the first thing that comes to my mind”

“Look here Kazu, whenever I kiss, the person that I kissed will always beg for more and will only refer to the kiss as mind blowing, and you’ve just told me it was nice?” Jin ranted for it chaffed his ego to find that the person that he loves just found his kiss nice

“Can I beg now?” Kazu looked shyly at Jin and judging from the surprised look from older guy he knew that Jin thought he was the lowest of low

“I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re the only kiss that I can remember and it is really quite nice” Kame explained

“Ack Kazu, I’m not making any sense am I? I forgot about that when I kissed you and when it ended…” he was really feeling like a cad now for forgetting that Kazu cannot remember and that Kazu is not one of his many girls who are eager to throw themselves at him

“I also knew it was mind blowing but my mind was not in its right place” Kazu teased

“So can I beg now?” Kazu furthered his teasing for he knew that Jin felt better as his admission

“Baka, I might just take you on it” Jin smiled back, his ego now fully inflated again by what Kazu has just admitted

They walked side by side in the park, occasionally stopping to just admire the place that they were in. The park at this hour is not that busy and only a few children with parents running after them or playing with them on the nearby swings, slides and other recreational structures can be seen. Kazu took up his courage and boldly latching on to Jin’s hand, he was worried that the older guy might not like it, but Jin proved differently as he interlaced their hands and gave Kazu a gentle squeeze and they continued their walking.

This is perfect.

Kazu’s hand is being warmed by Jins’ big hand and the warmth doesn’t just stop there, it reaches all the way to his heart, his soul, his body and mind. Kazu’s mind was showing him glimpses of images and pictures of people that were talking to him, laughing with him, crying about something. He tried to close his eyes and try to remember more what those images were.

-          There was an old man crying about something talking to an elderly lady behind the desk and he can see a young boy sitting at the corner, playing a his favorite action figure, he just knew it was him
-          White walls with people rushing in and out of the room with clipboards on their hands
-          Police, fire trucks and medical people and a lot of other  people’s faces looking in on the person being carried in a stretcher
-          There was a dark room and voices can be heard and no faces to be seen but he felt someone touching him but he felt powerless to resist, he doesn’t like the way he was being touched
-          His laying down on a couch trying to relax, talking to a nice lady that resembles a motherly figure, he was talking and his voice drifts on and off
-          Blood, he can see blood, he can taste blood, he can feel the stickiness of it and he was covered in blood
-          He can see himself looking out of the window, looking at the other teens outside playing but not for him, he was inside, playing on his own
-          And then there was this voice, soothing to him, making him feel happy, he has a brand new radio transistor  and he loves it

Kazu may have jerked a little as Jin stopped from walking and is now looking down at Kazu’s face. Jin sure knows that something is bothering Kazu as the younger guy looked really pale to him and the hand that he is holding seems to shake but Jin doesn’t have any idea why, he thought that probably it was a little cold, but they were wearing their winter clothes, some of what Kazu’s wearing was Jin’s old clothes that he can find that fits the younger guy. But now he is not quite sure why Kazu is trembling.

“Kazu, something wrong?” Jin asked

“You look pale, like all the blood has drowned out from you” Jin continued, and when he mentioned the word blood, Kazu instinctively shudders

“I’m fine Jin, thank you, just that when you mentioned the word blood something flashed in my mind but I cannot point a finger on what memory is that, please don’t mind me” Kazu explained and gave his best smile to the other guy looking at him with those worried eyes

They were just about the exit of the park when Jin made a suggestion for them to drop by in a police station just to file a case of missing person or check if someone filed in return for a missing person. Then he lent on that they will surely eat after that trip on which Kazu teased him again on being fat and the images that Kazu remembered where push aside from the younger guys mind and was replaced by this contentment that Jin brought with him.

Kazu though like to hold Jin’s hand but they just stepped outside from the park, and now reality is back again that the society may not approve of what they share, inside the park they can touch, kiss and be intimate with one another and the park for Kazu seems to have shielded them away from prying eyes but now that they are out, he thought of not of himself but of Jin and what people may think of him, he wanted to protect Jin.

After Kazu let go of his hand, Jin thought that the cold air must have picked up as he felt cold and somewhat abandoned. He was thinking that probably inside the park, Kazu granted his advances because no one was looking and they can be themselves, but now here in the open, Jin has this sinking feeling that probably what he thought back there earlier is a little true, that this no amnesia Kazu might be different from this amnesiac guy that Jin loves.

They are just about to cross the street to go to the nearest police station that Jin can think of, when just from across them, in the opposite direction Jin can see an old man dropping in all his groceries and is now pointing a finger to him or so he thought as no one aside from him and Kazu are about to cross. Jin looked at his back and back again to the old Ojisan and he was still at the same stance, pointing at him and with his mouth hanging open. Both Jin and Kazu started crossing the pedestrian when the stoplight turns red and the walk icon turns green, when the Ojisan came out from his stupor and shouted.


Both Kazu and Jin froze at that moment, for the Ojisan is now directly at their way. Jin was surprised that the old man shouted the name of Kazu and was about to ask him how he have known the younger guys name when Ojisan grabbed Kazu and placed him in a fierce embrace.

“Kazuya, where have you been, I have been really really worried about you” Ojisan said with tears gathering on his eyes

“Taking off like that, not telling me where you will go” continued by the Ojisan

“Come now, let us go back home, you need to take your medications so you can continue to grow strong” hushed the old man while in the attempt to bend and gather his fallen things.

Jin in all the while that the Ojisan was talking was already gathering the fallen groceries and was really curious to know who the old man is and ask him all his questions but all of those was stopped when he looked at Kazu with his tears streaming down on his eyes and was embracing as fiercely the old man.

Something inside Jin tells him that the old man really knew Kazu and he just want to give the two some privacy before he ask anything, because in Jin’s mind he should make certain that Kazu will be alright and that he will be handed over to the hands of the real relatives and not just some hoax.

“Sir, let me help you on that” Jin said while stuffing all the can goods and other groceries in the paper bag

“Thank you young man, this is such a surprise to me to see my dear grandson that is why I lost my grip on my groceries” Ojisan said

“Are you a friend of my grandson?” Ojisan asked

“Sort of Sir, it’s a long story but I somehow rescued him, can I ask you something please, are you really his grandfather?” asked Jin as he continue to hold the grocery bag in his hands

“I’m sorry if I sounded so disbelieving, just that I want to make sure that Kazu gets to his family” Jin explained and darted a look at the young boy that was earlier was in his arms and now the possibility of their time together seems close to ending

“It’s alright son, and I am happy to know that someone is looking after my dear boy, yes I am his grandpa” to prove that he is, Ojisan took his wallet and showed Jin quite a few pictures of Kazu from his younger days to the most recent where he graduates from Vocational school

Jin while looking at the pictures took a glance at Kazu who also took a look at the pictures, saw Kazu’s eyes widening as if memories from memories are finally flooding his mind that though Jin was happy to know that, he was also feeling a deep depression for he wanted this Kazu to be with him a little longer, selfish as he may sound but he needed him.

“Papa!” exclaimed Kazu, finally recalling the Ojisan

“Oh Kazuya!” Ojisan hugged Kazu again and now giving in to the tears to fall down on his cheeks

“I’m so sorry that I left, sorry for not telling you, for leaving without any note” cried Kazuya

“It’s alright, what matters now is that you are fine and you seem to be unharmed” said Ojisan

“And we must thank this young man for rescuing you, and I must know all the details of how he has rescued you” Ojisan said while looking at Jin

“Come now, Kazuya, let’s go home we must take care of you, young man please forgive this old person for just remembering now, what is your?” smiled by the Ojisan as judging from the look of him he is probably right that he is an old man nearing seventy

“Sir, Akanishi Jin”

“It is really wonderful to know you Akanishi” Ojisan extended his hand and Jin begged the Ojisan to just call him Jin

“Well, then Jin it is, come along son and I must know everything that happened to my boy” Ojisan rushed and patted Jin’s hand and grabbed Kazuya’s waist for a fierce embrace again

They have walked a few blocks from where they have first met and Jin was in deep thought as to the bits and pieces of information that he got from Ojisan when he met Kazu. Medication that the younger boy needs for what? And that it will make him grow stronger, and Jin was puzzled if the younger guy has any special condition. He wanted to ask the Ojisan now but he knows that he must wait till they are at his home so he can get all the informations to answer his questions. Jin can see from the way that the old man his holding Kazu that he cares so much for the younger boy, and that the tears that was shed earlier was real tears of relief and happiness to see Kazu well and unharmed, it was just there is this tingling feel in his mind that something is missing, as to why Kazu would leave and not inform the Ojisan where he will go.

They arrived in a house at what Jin can only describe as more of a tree house than an actual house; the house is sitting atop a flat form with three main steps to climb before really reaching the main door, the house has a protruding tree near the main steps on which based from Jin’s estimate should be part of the building construction holding the beams for support. There was a wide veranda in front and side and Jin feels one hundred percent that the back porch will have it as well. The idyllic house was painted white on the outside and going inside he was not surprised to see that it was white as well inside.

Coming from his apartment where all the colors there are either red, black or gray the whiteness of this small house pleased Jin, he liked the openness of it, the purity that beckons of the white walls and majority of the furniture’s and appliances in the house, the cleanliness of the house without any clutter to see.  Jin was motion by Ojisan to go to the right informing him that the kitchen is located there so he can place the groceries that he still clutches. While Ojisan and Kazu went to the opposite side, Jin was thinking that probably that is where the sitting area is located.

The kitchen was such a surprise to Jin as it was a direct opposite of how clean the house was, the kitchen counter was is such a mess that Jin doesn’t know where to place the grocery bag. He spotted an empty chair with only towels, aprons and more towels hanging onto it. And looking around, Jin can see scribbles on papers everywhere, on the magnetized clippings on the refrigerator, on the counters, in the main table. Jin knew that those are Kazu’s scribbles of recipes and standing there, Jin pictured the young guy in his favorite apron, judging from the most stained filled apron it was the yellow ichigo printed apron. The thought that he pictured is again pleasing him, for he knew that Kazu enjoys cooking and Jin knew based from past experience that Kazu is a great cook.

After depositing the grocery bag, Jin followed the Ojisan and Kazu’s direction thinking that he will find both of them sitting catching up or having a cup of tea or something. But Jin was in for another surprise to see that what he thought to be a sitting room turns out to be a replica of what a hospital recovery room looks like. It has the same white wash walls, on the right side of the room is a medical bed that you can manipulate to make the patient sit or lie down, a white chair next to the bed and opposite it was a table and another two chairs probably for any guests coming in also there is a curtain for privacy but it was not drawn out. The window of the room was just on the side of the bed, where you can see the back yard of the house with a view of Ojisan’s little farm of tomatoes, eggplants and strawberries.

Kazu and Ojisan emerged from the small door on the far left of the room, Jin thought that that might be the bathroom or closet of Kazu as when he emerges he was wearing a yellow pajama pair.

“Jin, what do you think of my room?” asked Kazu who gave Jin the most inviting smile that Jin thought of as if a kid showing his most prized possession

“It’s really nice” Jin said but honestly he doesn’t like it as much as he knew that Kazu has a more colorful personality that this white represents, and for Kazu to wear yellow pajama as opposed to his red one is not sitting well with him

Jin is scanning the room to see any personalized decorations but all he can see is those standard medical furniture’s that seem so dull and the only saving grace to this room was that transistor radio at the bed side table of Kazu with multiple colorful stickers on it and a pen and paper, not even a single framed picture was in the room to make it a little less hospital-ish.

“Now Kazu, here are your medicines, please drink them and have your rest, we will soon know all about your adventure when you’ve rested” Ojisan stated while handing Kazu the medicines and a glass of water

“Come Jin, let’s transfer to the other room so that my grandson can rest and I would like to know how you rescued my dear boy” placing the glass at the bedside table Ojisan said then proceeded to walk towards the door

“Jin,,,” whispered Kazu

“Yes” answered Jin and looked at Kazu

“You are not leaving me are you?” Kazu silently asked the older guy

“Baka..” Jin said while walking towards the bed that Kazu is sitting on

“Why would I leave you” Jin said while cupping the face of the younger guy

“I’m just a little afraid that if I fall asleep and wakes up, find you no longer here and I won’t remember” Kazu explained to Jin it was evident that the younger guy needed some assurance that he won’t be gone

“I am not leaving while you are sleeping, I will wait till you wake up and my face will be the first thing that you will see” Jin said

He doesn’t know what possessed him, but he wanted to really soothe the fear that he saw on the younger boys eyes so he lowered his face and captured the lips of the younger guy in what he thought would only be a soft kiss but Kazu opened his mouth and that is all it took for Jin to use his tongue to explore more the mouth of the younger guy. Kazu tasted so good to Jin that he doesn’t seem to stop kissing him till he heard a coughing sound, forcing him back to reality and knowing that Ojisan was just at the doorway and probably looking in on them.

“Is that proof enough that I will stay, coz now that I’ve really tasted you, I want more” Jin promised huskily and judging from the glazed eyes and the slow nod of Kazu his promise soothed his fears away

“Let’s not wait Jin, I want to taste you again” Kazu said with passion written on his face

“I want you fully rested when I taste you again and after that you will beg me to stop” Jin promised and was really looking forward to that time but for now he needs to give Kazu time to rest

“Can I just beg for you to continue” teased Kazu

“Alright that kiss Jin was great let’s repeat that when I wake up” Kazu uttered mischief is written all over the face of the younger guy that drew booming laughter from Jin

Jin was strutting towards the door smiling like a lunatic, remembering the taste of that kiss and how he was so affected by it; he pulled the door behind him and was totally not prepared to what will happen next.

He got punched in the face

Ojisan though look old and feeble but he has a mean right hook, Jin immediately cupped his left jaw as it stings really bad from the old man’s punch. He was just about to look for the old man to see if another punch will be thrown at him when he saw that Ojisan was doubled over and was holding his right hand soothing the pain on it. So it seems to Jin that Ojisan was equally hurt by the punch that he delivered to Jin.

“Sir, are you alright?” asked Jin and it was becoming funny to Jin that he was the one punched in the face but here he was asking the old man if he was alright

“That was for kissing my grandson, and yes the pain is now going away” stated by Ojisan and it now trying to stand up straight again and just cursing for the pain on his back

“Sir, let me explain please” Jin said

“No need to explain, I know who and what you are”

“Sir, it is not what it looks like, please let me explain” Jin pleaded for he doesn’t like to be branded by this old man anything than the person who loves his grandson

“Young man, follow me in the kitchen and let us have that talk” Ojisan said and walked directly straight to the kitchen

Never in all his life had he dreaded that walk towards the kitchen and never had he felt that it was the longest walk he had in his entire life. His mind is now racing to all possibilities of the talk that they will have his what ifs and his fear clouded his mind of anything else. He was thinking of one worst scenario after another, what if Ojisan doesn’t want Jin to see Kazu again, what if Ojisan asked Jin to leave right after their talk and he would no longer be there when Kazu wakes up or what if Ojisan wouldn’t allow Jin to love Kazu, that thought made his heart physically ache.

“Have a seat” Ojisan pointed at the none existent vacant chair so Jin lifted the paper bag that he deposited earlier on that chair and sit on it placing the paper bag next to him

“Sir, please I know you saw me kissing Kazu and I would not say sorry about that because I felt great kissing your grandson and I will do that again anytime I want…” Jin trailed off trying to explain to ease the awkward feeling in the atmosphere his eyes following the old man

“You felt great and you will kiss him again?” asked Ojisan in a higher tone of voice all the while fussing over the tea kettle on the stove and making such noises with the rattling of the cups and saucers

“I will Sir, and even if you don’t like it I will do it, and even if you punch me every time I do that, I will kiss Kazu and I will hug him, cuddle him and always be next to him because I love your grandson Sir!” Jin finished off his explanation and was now just realizing that the old man was actually not frowning or ready to kill him but was looking at him in what Jin can only say as like any other grandfather looking at his grandson with love and deep understanding

“Jin, son when I said that I know who you are and what you are, I do not mean to say that in a bad way” Ojisan said handing Jin his tea on which Jin accepted with a confused look on his face

“Drink up and before I start my explanation, I want you to start yours first, starting off with how you find my grandson” Ojisan said and clearing one chair opposite Jin and taking his leisure sip of his dark brewed tea

Jin is really confused, he was thinking all dark and negative thoughts of how the old man would want him out of Kazu’s life but here he was sipping his tea and the awkward atmosphere seem to disappear and was replaced with a warm feeling of acceptance.

He started his story with how he and his friend Maru almost missed the last train leaving because of him stopping at a convenience store to buy some food. He then proceeded to explain that when he first saw Kazu sleeping on the train he thought that he was drunk who passed out, Jin knew that the old man would only want the truth from him so he mentioned his thoughts on the whole event but leaving the pervee ones aside. He mentioned that he detested anyone who cannot control their drinking habit and he actually decided to leave the sleeping guy on the train but thought better of it by at least carrying him out from the train and leave him on the station when he saw a few dangerous looking people hanging still in the station and being vulnerable like that he took him at his home and wait till he wakes up to offer his assistance.

While Jin was telling his story, Ojisan was just nodding his head and was about to interrupt Jin a few times but closed his mouth and continued nodding his head instead. Jin doesn’t know what to make of that but he was pleased at least the old man is not shouting at him or trying to punch him again.

“It makes perfect sense to me now” stated Ojisan

“It is truly a miracle you have found him but I knew deep in my heart it was destiny playing a hand on this” Ojisan continued and while Jin thought it was a weird comment to say but he is still happy that he can see a glimpse of acceptance with what he has just declared earlier

“You must be thinking that the shock of seeing my grandson again snapped my mind into making those comments, but listen to me and you will also believe in what I have just said” Ojisan said and placed his tea cup down on the empty space at the table and faced Jin

“I will start off my story but please let me finish first and after that, if you have any questions you may ask me” Jin nodded to let the old man know that he understood and gave him his most determined look

(LJ limited my posting prowess so I need to cut them into two)

[Birthday] FLIST Birthday Celebrants for September2013
Akame in CK100

 photo ra302_zps3acb8104.pngCredit: Owner of the Pic <3

Everyone whose celebrating their birthdays this month of September, happy happy birthday may all your dreams comes true. May you be filled with love and happiness from your family, friends and love ones~


[Birthday] FLIST Birthday Celebrants for August2013
U-KISS Believe
I am soo sorry August Celebrants, i really forgot :(

Anyhoo...... <3


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Credit: on the Pic <3

Hope you all had a nice celebration filled with love, laughter and happiness!


[2ne1] MV Falling in Love
2ne1 - Ugly
I have fallen in love with the song and the girls looks really fabulous~ <3
The song is really catchy, after 2 previously released songs of 2ne1 that i did not really dig in, this song is my jam! ^^

 photo b0cef703-3fb2-4373-ae64-59f778d069d3_zps2a910ce1.jpg

Credit: 2ne1@YT

I want to go blonde again but i am currently in love with my red hair, though bommie looks really good here~ <3

[Birthday] FLIST Birthday Celebrants for July2013
I knew this day would come and I knew I'm gonna hate it.... >.<
The page that contains all my friends and their birthdays are nowhere to be found.

Anyhoo, this will not stop me from greeting my awesome FLIST, just poke me if you're one of the celebrator and i will greet you! ^^


May you all be happy and gay, and may you all have the best day everrr, surrounded with your family, friends and love ones! <333


[Birthday] FLIST Birthday Celebrants for June2013
Hello Kitty
So i resurface with my monthly greetings~ <3


 photo muchie_june2013_zps9732561c.png

May you all have the best of your special day~ :D
Love, happiness, contentment and all the desires of your heart be granted to all of you! <333

Parents anniversary is on the 8th and Momz birthday is on the 26!!! ^^

Goguma Guitar
Bringing out my YongSeo icon just to greet me on this special day~ <3


 photo 056c4d11-8278-402b-93d9-7f7533b34c87_zps490e4937.jpg

I have dreamed of a lot of things and slowly they are taking form, just that taking one step at a time seems to be slow but let me start with this. :D
Being surrounded by people who are happy and positive is much more rewarding than having a lot of people who are makes only numbers in my life.
There's too many dreams that i want to achieve but i know some of them will just stay as dreams, but i am hopeful that most of them will be a reality for me~ ^^

So for now, it's my 31st starting tomorrow I will make the first day of my new life more meaningful and much more filled with love, contentment, laughter, love, positivity and passion for my craft, my love for my friends and family and for my service to the Lord! <3

"I will love more, dream often and smile a lot!"



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